Who Has the Power in School Social Life?
By SHANNON DOYNE and HOLLY EPSTEIN OJALVO
In the Motherlode blog column “After Class, Skimpy Equality,” Lisa Belkin observes that in the classroom, female students are often confident, but socially, “equality, respect and self-worth” often go out the window. Is the gender dynamic at your school or college like this?
In the column, Ms. Belkin describes the gender dynamic at Princeton and other colleges, starting with an anecdote:
At Duke University last fall, members of the Sigma Nu fraternity e-mailed 300 of their female classmates about an off-campus Halloween party. “Hey Ladies,” the invitation leered, complete with a misspelling, “Whether your dressing up as a slutty nurse, a slutty doctor, a slutty schoolgirl or just a total slut, we invite you …”
Yes, there was outrage: in the form of fliers plastered around the Duke campus reprinting the offending e-mail and asking, “Is this why you came to Duke?” And there was official indignation: The recently formed Greek Women’s Initiative will be tackling the subject of gender relations.
But a less-noted fact remains: hundreds of Duke women went to that Halloween party and many dressed as they had been asked.
As parents around the country send their children to campuses for the start of another academic year, what are we to make of the fact that lessons of equality, respect and self-worth have been heard when it comes to the classroom, but lost somewhere on the way to the clubs? Why has the pendulum swung back to a feeling that sexualization of women is fun and funny rather than insulting and uncomfortable? Why are so many women O.K. with that?
Students: Give us your take on this column. Based on your own experience, do you agree with Ms. Belkin’s observation that girls’ equality, respect and self-worth are often suspended when it comes to socializing? And why do you think this happens? Is it, as one female student put it, “just a generational difference”? Or do you agree with another young woman, who said, “I think when I grow up I will look back and think it’s unhealthy. Because it’s animalistic”?
I agree with Belkin about how offensive the email was. I feel that the word "slut" or "slutty" has a negative connotation, especially when used towards females, and is not appropriate to use in any context. That being said, I also find those girls who assume the role of "slutty nurse" or "just a total slut" when going out responsible for how girls in general are stereotyped. My hypothesis is that this generational difference evolved because girls who dress a certain way receive more attention from guys (either good or bad, but attention's attention and everyone craves it to some degree). Of course it would be easy for me to say that these types of girls should have more respect for their own privacy, but that's really none of my business. I think that if a girl is comfortable and feels more confident wearing revealing clothing, then she should definitely wear it. But I find it unfair that in order to compete for attention, other girls are forced (knowingly or not) into dressing as "a total slut". I also think that it is unjust that these competitions between girls to get the most attention from guys has only encouraged boys like the members of Duke's Sigma Nu chapter to extend demeaning names to the female kind as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI definitely do agree with Ms. Belkin’s observation. It is sad but it does happen. I often hear degrading comments at parties or just on campus in general. It seems to me like most girls accept it because they want the guys to like them. Also I don’t think most girls actually realize how the guys treat them sometimes since they are so caught up in the lure of it all. Also, it depends on the person. I know sometimes a comment to one girl might make her upset, while another would laugh it off and not think twice of it. I do think it is “just a generational difference”. Yeah, I agree that it’s not right. But, like I said earlier, I don’t think girls always realize it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ms. Belkin's observation.Personally, I believe the cause for this phenomenon is the increasing sense and need of individuality. Everybody simply just wants to be noticed. As a result, girls might tend to use their bodies as attractions to other people. This phenomenon is very likely to be a generational difference since it is in this generation that the need and sense of individuality is intensified.
ReplyDeleteI think that Ms. Belkin's observation is in line with what is happening in the society. The association of female students with “slut” indicates that the society, to certain extent, still expects to see femininity in female students and women in general. Also, the fact that Duke women students still went to the party implied that either the female students wanted to show their femininity to attract attention or they would like to comply with the social expectation. I don’t think that it is only a generational difference as the self-respect and equality of girls are important across generations, regions, races and so on.
ReplyDeleteI think the issue Ms. Belkin brings up in her article is complicated and difficult to deal with. It's one thing to study about and become aware of the problems we face in society inside classrooms; it's a completely different thing, however, when we leave the classroom. This gender dynamic will still continue to exist, as shown by the female students who showed up to the party, even though we know there are problems with it. I think the tools of media, such as billboards, MTV, and advertisements, play a big role in this and until we are able to fix that, we won't be able to change anything.
ReplyDeleteAs Ms. Belkin felt toward the email sent to Duke students, the current society has become more generous about how to treat females with respect. Yes, this whole issue might be originated from the "generational difference". However, since more college students do not consider this issue seriously, and do not want to stand out for the opposition, the problem of "girls' equality" would be even more difficult to get resolved. Although this generation has been adapted to be more liberal, we should stop for the moment and think of the solution.
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ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with Ms. Belkin. I feel that in today's society in order for a women to standout socially in a college campus, the pressure lies on their looks rather than character. This is a complicated issue to deal with as it strongly relates to the issues related to gender. Why is that a gir must dress themselves in a provocative way in order to be accepted socially in order to be accepted a costume party? In my opinion, the pressure is instilled through the media and advertisements portraying a certain image, and and college female students are influenced by this "trap."
ReplyDeletePosted by:
- Alan Raouf
Not only do I agree with Ms. Belkin, but I also agree with what everyone else has posted on here.
ReplyDeleteMany females decide to part take in these types of activities to remain "relevant" in the social scene. Now I don't want to overgeneralize all women, but I know many of the ones that head out to the row for Thursday/Friday/Saturday night parties will follow these "themes" in order to get to be remembered. They want to be the girl that was the "hottest" or looked the "best" at the end of the night because it helps their self-confidence.
Now I somewhat believe that this can be considered a "generational conflict." If we go back in time, mass media was not as relevant amongst our parents and grandparents as it is for us. Like was stated by one of my peers, these portrayals of women in the mass media create this "image" that they feel the need to conform to. This type of image may not have been as prevalent in previous decades because MTV, billboards, magazines, and gossip shows were not around or as important.
So yes, I do believe it is somewhat of a generational conflict because of the increased involvement of personal image by the mass media.
i think that its not always like that, i believe that halloween is a special day when anyone can dress as anything they want to without being judged and that is whay most girls choose outfits that they wouldnt normally wear and think of it as funny. i do think some women do it sometimes and its just sad to see that they would actually think that people will like them better if they demean themselves.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that women are conforming to a societal or gender norm, and while females in the present are now more present in the classroom environment, women still feel the need to put themselves in a "second-class" situation. By having to dress in a "slutty" manner, females are giving power to men to control the situation. The ironic thing is that while most females are taught about these unfair gender roles, women decide to conform to it anyway. Is it because societal norms are still so powerful that women can't escape it? Are there other factors that cause women to conform that can not only be addressed through education? On the other hand, could dressing "slutty" be a way for women to gain respect rather than losing respect? While it is indeed unconventional, by dressing in such a manner, women are able to gain men's attention and during those moments, the men are the one who are influenced by the women. It is sad, however, that women need to go through such great lengths to hold any power over men in this society.
ReplyDelete- Merry Chin
For the most part I agree with Ms. Belkin’s observation because I imagine that the majority of college girls who want to feel socially accepted by their peer will dress like they have been asked, even if they do not feel comfortable with it. However, I do not necessarily believe that if a girl chooses to dress slutty that it necessarily means she has no self-worth and self-respect.
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