Who Has the Power in School Social Life?
By SHANNON DOYNE and HOLLY EPSTEIN OJALVO
In the Motherlode blog column “After Class, Skimpy Equality,” Lisa Belkin observes that in the classroom, female students are often confident, but socially, “equality, respect and self-worth” often go out the window. Is the gender dynamic at your school or college like this?
In the column, Ms. Belkin describes the gender dynamic at Princeton and other colleges, starting with an anecdote:
At Duke University last fall, members of the Sigma Nu fraternity e-mailed 300 of their female classmates about an off-campus Halloween party. “Hey Ladies,” the invitation leered, complete with a misspelling, “Whether your dressing up as a slutty nurse, a slutty doctor, a slutty schoolgirl or just a total slut, we invite you …”
Yes, there was outrage: in the form of fliers plastered around the Duke campus reprinting the offending e-mail and asking, “Is this why you came to Duke?” And there was official indignation: The recently formed Greek Women’s Initiative will be tackling the subject of gender relations.
But a less-noted fact remains: hundreds of Duke women went to that Halloween party and many dressed as they had been asked.
As parents around the country send their children to campuses for the start of another academic year, what are we to make of the fact that lessons of equality, respect and self-worth have been heard when it comes to the classroom, but lost somewhere on the way to the clubs? Why has the pendulum swung back to a feeling that sexualization of women is fun and funny rather than insulting and uncomfortable? Why are so many women O.K. with that?
Students: Give us your take on this column. Based on your own experience, do you agree with Ms. Belkin’s observation that girls’ equality, respect and self-worth are often suspended when it comes to socializing? And why do you think this happens? Is it, as one female student put it, “just a generational difference”? Or do you agree with another young woman, who said, “I think when I grow up I will look back and think it’s unhealthy. Because it’s animalistic”?
